The Vulnerability In Favoritism

Sometimes I don't want to tell someone what my favorite Thing in some category is. Doesn't have to be a real "favorite" - it can just be something that I really like.

To express it is to make it vulnerable.

What if they disagree with me? What if they have a different experience than me?

What if they say something negative about it, and it gets to my head and changes my opinion of it?

Sometimes I don't even want to re-experience the Thing. Because what if I don't like it as much the second time? What if I lose the memory of it having been something I really liked, and I am faced with a more dull perception of it?

Maybe there is some defense mechanism here that I should lower.

But I think it is sometimes valid. What is the harm in protecting this special feeling? Let me cherish it.

Yet there could be benefits to sharing, too. If someone also really likes the Thing, it could feel nice to have a common experience. Or it could lead to ideas or inspiration.

To reach good, you must face the risk of bad.

What about the things I do publicize my favoritism for? Specifically what comes to mind is Hadestown and Streetlight Manifesto.

For those, my confidence in my appreciation for them is so strong, so deeply rooted in me, that they are invulnerable to the risk of external commentary or internal re-experience. Indeed, part of the confidence comes from repeated consumption on my part. What's the difference between these, which I so easily re-consume, and the Others, which I am afraid to? Well, for the confident favorites, my initial appreciation was so strong that I needed to re-consume them. There was no choice, not really. Then, repeated consumption quickly shows me that the appreciation does not wear out or change^[1].

Though, maybe it's about media type, too. My reconsumability for Hadestown is mostly around the music of it, and Streetlight Manifesto is also obviously music. I re-listen to music waaaaay more frequently than I re-watch movies (and to be honest, when I'm talking about Favorites I'm really talking about movies). I so rarely re-watch movies. Or re-read books for that matter. I think it's because of the nature of stories, and spoilers -- once you experience it, you know what happens, and you can never again experience it for the first time again^[2].

Ah, perfect. I have an example from just yesterday. It's October 2026 and Vision Quest is just coming out, so I rewatched WandaVision, Multiverse of Madness, and a couple episodes of Agatha All Along. It was my first rewatch of any of these. WandaVision came out in 2021, MoM 2022, and AAA 2024.

I liked WandaVision as much, if not more, the second time. The "if not more" comes from me not having as much of an issue with a certain fight scene towards the end than I did the first time.

And I didn't like Multiverse of Madness as much. I remember telling people that it was one of my favorite recent Marvel movies. It's because I really liked the special effects, the multiverse traveling^[3], and the Doctor Strange magic system / mirror dimension stuff. But this time, the quality of the writing was jarring to me, and I was a little bit shocked, almost embarrassed at my past self, at how much I remembered liking it.

Do I regret re-watching MoM? Do I wish I left the original memory intact?

Well, to be honest, I thought it would hold up better. But no, I don't regret it. It definitely helps that it's been four years since I saw it. I also had a specific reason to re-watch it, and otherwise I'm not sure if or when I ever would have.

Anyway, all this to say... There is no escaping the vulnerability. Sometimes you have to risk it. Sometimes there will be rewards. Sometimes there will be consequences. But it is what it is. Pretty low stakes, in the grand scheme of things, obviously. But man. That feeling of cherishing a positive experience of something is so nice. I get why I would want to preserve that feeling as often as possible.